ADE 2019 will always be memorable because it was the very first time musicbyLukas and I performed together as a DJ Duo.
To think how long it took us and how far we've come to make it to this moment - it's crazy for me. We've been through so many careers, business ventures, and life events together, but this is the first time I've ever felt happy.
It took a lot of courage to quit our jobs and pursue a career we basically "made up". Like what is this TEAMMBL thing really, anyway? That is the sort of question we got a lot at the beginning. And now, it's as if it always existed. That's what it's like. Life is funny that way. It's a lot of being scared, taking chances, and then no one remembering. They only remember where you are now. They think you are an "overnight success". But you know your history and you know you deserve it. It's a funny thing.
I am finally happy. I am in charge of my own life and in charge of my creativity. Pursuing acting for so long basically killed my soul. I say it a lot because it's true. It's a lot of waiting around for someone to validate you. And it's a lot of being told what to do, how to look, how to act. The whole reason I got into acting was to perform and to feel creative and to entertain. But you never really get to feel that way. Even when I was on T.V., it wasn't my dream of making a difference in someone's life. It was just saying a few words to move the story line along.
Now I get to work with musicbyLukas every day and build things from our mind. I get to travel. I get to film things. I get to take pictures. And I get to share it all with you guys. I get to make that difference I always wanted to. I want to help people and make them happy, that's all I ever wanted. And now I am doing that. And now I am happy, or at least working on it. It's always been a struggle for me, but that's a different story.
So back to ADE. I will never forget as soon as Push started (our first song) the crowd cheered. "What the!" Best moment. Lukas and I looked at each other and smiled. We are here, right now. We are doing this thing. And then we started. We never discussed what we would do during our performance, we just always knew. We have worked together so long and we are so alike, it all came naturally. We had a blast. We danced, we hyped up the crowd, we got to see them mosh pit...it was all incredible. Halfway through the show I turned around and noticed my name was lit up behind me. Oh ya! I had totally forgotten. It made me stop. I just looked at it and thought - I am here. Right now. I am happy.
Anyway, enough of me going on and on. Here are some of my favorite pictures from the week! One of the best week's of my life. The week where I started to smile for no reason. The week where I met people who felt inspired by me. The week people inspired me. What a week!